1848 – the year of revolutions across Europe, Chartism at home and, out in California, the first Gold Rush – was full of courtship in Manchester and Skipton.
The Adamson family: National Portrait Gallery |
On Wednesday I visited the poor woman who had lost her husband so suddenly; she appears to feel her loss deeply and yet she is resigned; … I always feel particularly pleased to find instances of this kind amongst the very poor; there are so many circumstances attendant upon their situation which appear to me calculated to blunt the finer feelings of our nature. The middle walk of life seems the most favourable to the cultivation of the home affections
Accept my warmest love and believe me everYour affectionately attachedAlice
I am interested in the story of the poor woman whose sorrows you have been striving to heal. I do think with you that there is much more true affection and tender feeling among the poorer ranks of life than we are apt sometimes to suppose – that generous, even refined feelings, are not infrequently hidden beneath a rough exterior.
I have just been enduring a severe castigation from my younger brother and sister, and have returned from the wars with trembling hands and beautified with a variety of bruises. I think, when you come, we must have a battle on even terms
If I had many walks with Tom as my leader I should become quite an accomplished climber. He does not allow walls to be an impediment. I had to scramble over several in our evening's ramble; he met with no serious objections to his mode of procedure
John Hopkinson had not a light touch and, I imagine, little sense of humour
a saucy woman's tongue to interrupt your solemn musings, nothing to do when you come home but to make yourself comfortable
So quiet, so free, "no woman's tongue to interrupt my solemn musings" – pardon, 'tis that which constitutes my lack and makes a vacancy mind cannot fill.
I honestly told you my Alice that I liked you the better as I knew you better, and spoke the truth
He told her of his working day
Armley Mills, now the Leeds Industrial Museum by Mark Stevenson |
After parting so reluctantly with you on Monday afternoon I was soon in Leeds whence, after making one call, I pursued my way to Armley Mill, where I found an accident had occurred on Saturday to the works requiring immediate attention. I doffed my coat and hat and was soon at work, accepting by the way the offer of one of the workmen of some bread and butter and tea from a can (both capital) … I reached York Place at half past eleven – and was at the works at six … This morning I left home at 5 o'clock …
He and Henry Wren were feeling pressure of work and criticism
Do what we will, Henry Wren and I are abused on all sides. He is sorest now; I am getting case hardened and past feeling …
I do mean now to try to make my working hours shorter – and later must try, if it is possible by method, arrangement and punctuality to secure more despatch – that is, to do the same work in less time …Henry Wren has been asking more about my overhours work at Chapel etc, and suggesting, again very deferentially, that I should, for the present, exchange some of them for light outdoor exercise. He proposed a riding horse for the firm and my scruples on this head are weaker than they were …
(Henry Wren, I am fairly sure, was an Anglican)
By July Alice was making her views on women's abilities and rights to education very clear to John
In the meantime you can study Benjamin Parsons On the Mental and Moral Dignity of Woman. He is a champion, though I am not quite sure that all his arguments are the soundest possible. And we must also overlook a degree of coarseness; but his intention is so good that we will readily accord him every indulgence. I mean we of the womankind ...
Alice was up-to-date with her reading – Benjamin Parsons' book (which can be read online) had only been published in 1842. His subject was women's mental powers and education and he was forthright:
Most of us have seen boys and girls learning the same lessons and studying the same subject, but we never found that the girls were inferior to the boys … I never yet could detect any mental inferiority in girls, as scholars. Indeed, my own observation would lead me to give them the preference over boys in their aptitude to learn … I am fully persuaded that experiment and observation can detect no inferiority whatever in the minds of females, during infancy, childhood, or youth.
But once the girls grew up –
That young gentleman who aspires to her hand, although very polite and agreeable withal, is such an ill-informed personage, that an intelligent woman for a wife would quite bewilder him, and by contrast sadly expose his folly; and therefore he has come to the prudent conclusion that he will never marry a woman who knows more than himself; consequently, the lady is doomed to employ all her skill to contract her intellect to the dimensions of her lover's. Books are abandoned or thrown away; French is forgotten, and perhaps English at the same time; and every effort is made to educe mental paralysis, until, perhaps, this seraph of a woman seems in part assimilated to the mere animal who is to be her companion until death
He thundered his conclusion:
To limit female education and acquirements, and doom husbands, son, and daughters to the sway of ignorance and caprice, is to inflict on society and on the nation one of the heaviest calamities.
Alice never attempted to hide her intellectual capabilities and literary tastes and John was proud of her. Years later he quoted a remark of his sister Mary
Your wife's mind, John, is too good to be spent on secondary objects.
By August Alice was writing to John teasingly and her sister Lizzie was so much at home with him that she could tease him too
I feel concerned about your wounded leg, fearing that you will not take the necessary care. It would be a serious affair if I had to make you. But alas! that would be useless; you are such a master; I will not say My Master. Oh no! "There's time enough for that, says I." I am still Alice the untamed, living in the land of liberty, town of Single Blessedness …
Lizzie sends her respectful compliments; she hopes you will take care of your leg as she certainly would not admire a cork legged bridegroom.
I loved you for your own sake, and wished to marry you because I loved you – I do so still – I never have had any other reason
A question with regard to the propriety of which I do not entertain the slightest doubt
My own dearest Alice
The frankness of your note has relieved me from some perplexity, and I shall endeavour to answer it with equal candour.
In our intercourse hitherto there has been no reserve on my part, and I do not intend that there should be any in the future.
If we do not assume any wrong standard, I believe we may be comfortable. I care little for the artificialities of life. If I wish for wealth it is for your sake, that you may be a remove farther from want. Do not oversestimate me in character, position or intelligence. If you expect too much you may be disappointed. Dearest Alice, I have long loved you for your own sake – the basis of my affection is unchanged.
Your own true lover,John
Weak, thoughtless and full of faults as I am, I would fain hope that the endeavour to promote your happiness, resulting from true affection, will not be altogether unavailing, I feel as if I had much to say: but my heart is too full to write
My dearest John
Will you send by post six of the cards you said you would get for tieing round the cake; we wish to have the cake for Manchester packed. If we wait till you come, there will be so many things to do, cards, directing, etc., that we should have rather too much bustle to do anything well.Ellen arrived in safety at half past six. The various etceteras she brought are all approved.We shall look for you by the half past four train on Tuesday.
With kindest love to you Mother and sisters. Believe me, in very great haste. Your own affectionateAlice
SkiptonSaturday afternoon,1848
The party you left behind on your wedding day were as happy as possible to be under the circumstances. Our dear father and mother kept up wonderfully and the two dear sisters, who were most certainly the greatest sufferers, bore up heroically …
I feel very sorry to hear that dear John's leg is far from well; I do hope you will neither of you exert yourselves too much. Remember now that you ought to lay up a stock of health for the Winter and not exhaust what little strength you have by trying too much …
Remember one visit to Skipton is equal to a dozen letters. So, since you are able to pop over now and then, I cannot allow that it is needful for you to spend much time in writing also – this portion must be devoted to us I think … Do write very soon. Remember you have three sisters here all longing to hear.
Dear Alice,
I am in receipt of your very welcome Letter dated Sunday 21 inst presuming you were well when you wrote as you say nothing to the contrary; you may probably get a sight of the Queen and prince Albert while you are in Scotland; they appear to be very much thought of in that part and they both appear inclined to make themselves very agreeable: your thanks for past favours are accepted and your pardon for all past faults but I do not recollect any (only the last) which cannot be repaired and that is leaving us: but John will say that is no fault, therefore I suppose we must take it for granted you must excuse all blunders as I have written in haste, may the Lord bless and protect you from all dangers and bring you both safe to your intended abode.
I am Dear Alice,Your affecte Father,J W Dewhurst
You are the first sister we have acquired and it is delightful to have our circle enlarged and our affection strengthened by one who is one in heart with us and with whom we shall journey to the same everlasting rest.
You sent us a noble piece of cake, and very excellent it is. For all the wedding symbols accept our thanks
We must not expect your lot to be perfectly exempt from trials; for, during our earthly pilgrimage, the cloud will sometimes obscure the brightest path; but, as far as human foresight can devine, there is every prospect of yours being a truly happy home, and most sincerely do I rejoice with Dearest John and yourself in the happiness which is at present your portion and which seems to be laid up in store with you. To have such a pastor as our beloved Mr Griffin is no ordinary privilege. May our Heavenly Father continue to smile on you …
I hope he will continue long amongst you and that his labours will be blessed as they appear to have been, and that you may not make too much an Idol of him as sometimes there is very great danger in doing so with men of his worth.
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